2023 marks 50 years since we first opened our doors. It is an incredible milestone, and a reminder of the shelter and support we have given to thousands of women and their children fleeing violence, trauma and homelessness since 1973.
In an occasional series, we’re highlighting stories from 50 years of Nellie’s, including former board members, volunteers, staff members, and more.
Kristyn Wong-Tam, Toronto Centre’s current Member of Provincial Parliament, was an overnight relief worker at Nellie’s in the early 1990s. As a first-year university student, Kristyn started working at Nellie’s somewhat by chance — they were already working at another women’s shelter downtown from 4pm to midnight, and so when they heard Nellie’s needed an overnight relief worker from midnight to 8am, they were keen to pick up an extra shift and earn some more money.
Although they were new to working in shelters, this wasn’t Kristyn’s first experience with homelessness. “At age 16, I came out to my parents, and after that I didn’t feel safe staying home anymore because there were threats towards me,” explains Kristyn. They spent the next two years trying to finish high school while sleeping on friends’ couches, in shelters, rooming houses, and even on the streets. “My story wasn’t unique — this was so prevalent, especially back in those years. But I was able to see first-hand what a difference it made for me to have a safe space and a bed of my own at a shelter, even if only for a night. I really quickly had a deep understanding and appreciation of what it means to have a safe space. And I know personally how quickly someone can lose their home. Because it’s not something I had anticipated. I come from a very tight-knit, small immigrant family. The last thing I would’ve expected was that I would’ve been on my own at the age of 16.”
In some ways, the women and their children coming into Nellie’s reminded Kristyn of their own experience — except now they were on the other side as a shelter worker. “I was able to see early on, the very deep care from Nellie’s in how they treated their clients,” says Kristyn. This was highlighted by how extremely disparate their experiences were in working at two women’s shelters at the same time. Kristyn recalls that at the other shelter (which is no longer in operation), the work was very impersonal. Part-time relief workers, most of whom were university students like Kristyn, would complete intake forms, dispense medications, and prepare food like scrambled eggs from a bag. “I’m pretty sure that during my entire time I was there, I never saw fresh fruits or vegetables,” remembers Kristyn, who was visibly moved by this strong memory. “When I saw the crates of fruits and vegetables come in at Nellie’s, that really struck me — because at the other shelter they were given nothing but frozen vegetables and canned foods. I’ll always remember those fruit and veggie deliveries. You don’t get that level of care at all shelters.”
Kristyn didn’t fully realize it then, but when they reflect back on their time at Nellie’s now, they understand that this experience helped them develop their values and lead them towards a path of political advocacy. Working at Nellie’s was eye-opening for them as they learned about systemic structural violence against women. Although they only were able to work at Nellie’s for a year, they refer to it as a “year of tremendous growth” for them.
“Working with homeless populations and women fleeing violence absolutely informed my political thinking,” explains Kristyn. “It helped me see the inequities and injustices of the world. It put it all in sharper focus. I translated my working and lived experiences into a desire to make policy and legislative change. To compel decision makers to do things differently. Those formative years, working in the shelters, opened my eyes to the structural changes that are needed.”
Thirty years later, Kristyn is proud to have played a role in Nellie’s history, and wants more people to understand the importance of the work that we do. “Nellie’s is meeting the response to homelessness by providing women with dignity — the dignity that they deserve and the care that they deserve,” says Kristyn. “It’s not just that Nellie’s is helping women rebuild their lives by directing them to a counsellor or a housing worker, but they’re also healing them while getting them back on their feet. Nellie’s has been a model of what shelter programming could be.”
As part of this interview, the Nellie’s team took Kristyn on a tour of our new shelter building, which just so happens to be in the same neighbourhood they grew up in. “Going back into the house, taking a tour, and our conversations today…it helped reinforce in me why I’m here doing this work,” says Kristyn. “I’ll always be so grateful that Nellie’s showed me another world was possible.”
