Archives for September 2012

Archive for September, 2012

Sexual Violence Against Women with DisAbilities and Deaf Women

Posted on: September 27th, 2012 by Nellie's No Comments

Sexual violence, like all forms of violence, affects different women in different ways. For deaf women and women with disabilities who are routinely marginalized and discriminated against in society, the risk of sexual violence is elevated. Research from Canada estimates that 83% of women with a disability will experience sexual violence in their lifetime.[i] As sexual violence is a means of exerting power and dominance over others, perpetrators are able to take advantage of the structural conditions that disenfranchise deaf women and women with disabilities, in order to more easily exert and maintain this power. These conditions, which are expressions of ableism, inform the nature of the sexual violence that deaf women and women with disabilities experience, as well as the ways that they negotiate these experiences.

Ableism is characterized by attitudes and behaviours that place more value on able-bodied individuals. These attitudes and behaviours are ingrained in the social, economic, political and cultural institutions and practices in our communities. Issues arising as a result of ableism illustrate its varied implications for women with disabilities and deaf women who are dealing with sexual violence. For instance, most survivors of sexual violence know their abusers. In the case of women with disabilities and deaf women, knowing the perpetrator can produce specific challenges. Perpetrators may be family members, partners, or health care providers who are involved in providing care to the women they abuse. As such, reporting abuse may potentially mean compromising the level of care or even financial support that women receive and might depend on.

The fact that many institutions which offer assistance to sexual violence survivors, are traditionally structured around the needs of able-bodied women, also offers a view of the consequences of ableism in this context. Services offered by such institutions may not equitably meet the needs of deaf women and women with disabilities. For instance, counselling services might not have counsellors who are able to communicate in American Sign Language (ASL), and may not allocate resources to ensure that they can offer this service for deaf women.

Ableist perceptions of women with disabilities and deaf women are also significant here. Deaf women and women with disabilities are often viewed as powerless and ‘impaired’. One consequence of these views is that women might not be believed when they disclose their experiences of violence. These perceptions may also lead them to be viewed as unreliable witnesses by the police and the courts, affecting their ability to use the criminal justice system as a form of redress. These examples depict just a few of the complexities of women’s experiences as they struggle against ableism and sexual violence and we must also remember that other forms of oppression such as poverty, racism, and transphobia influence these experiences creating diverse and complex situations for women.

Nellie’s is committed to addressing the ableist conditions that place women with disabilities and deaf women at risk of sexual violence. We are currently developing and will soon begin implementing updated strategies that aim to improve accessibility and further challenge ableism both within our organization and in the wider community. In our attempts to ally with deaf women and women with disabilities and ensure that their diverse needs are equitably met, we remain grounded in an anti-oppressive, feminist framework as we recognize that in order to challenge ableism, we must also address other forms of oppression which reinforce and support it, including colonialism, racism and heterosexism. We encourage all women to similarly count themselves as allies in the struggle to ensure that the lives of deaf women and women with disabilities are free from all forms of violence and are marked with dignity, respect, and empowerment.

[i] Stimpson, L. & Best, M. 1991. Courage Above All: Sexual Assault Against Women with Disabilities. Toronto: DisAbled Women’s Network

Brenda: A Survivor’s Story

Posted on: September 24th, 2012 by Nellie's No Comments

“They will blame me,” she states, with so much shame and guilt in her voice that it threatens to break our hearts. Brenda has just recounted her last few hours to us, using such a matter of fact voice, it was as if she was talking about the weather, but the passion with which she spoke those last few words took us by surprise. “It has happened to my friends many times, she continues to say in the same emotionless voice. She is talking about going to the police.

This is Brenda’s Story: she is a sex worker who works on the streets of Toronto at night, when the majority of the time, the only person you can depend on is you. It is dangerous and she knows that. “I have no illusions,” she has told us on more than one occasion, “It will probably be where I die”. You can tell by looking at her, that her night was horrible. She is limping when she first comes around the office door and it is the first thing you notice because she is usually more vibrant when walking. Then you start to notice other things, like, her bottom lip is split and they are twice their size, her face is swollen and her left cheek, ‘her good side’, she tries to joke, has several rows of stitches and is already starting to turn a sickly shade of yellow. Her eyes are puffy from crying and the right one looks bloodshot because she was punched in it. Her left arm is held protectively to her chest by a bandage because her assailant twisted it and held it behind her back. When she pulls up her shirt to show us, we at first thought that she had on a camisole; her entire stomach is black and blue. She is not able to stay in one position for too long and keeps alternating between sitting and standing. She has to bend to do either because she cannot straighten her middle. She is in so much pain that we want to tell her to go have a shower and go to bed, but we want to know what happened and what she wants us to do to help. She was sexually assaulted by one of her clients, she tells us and after several hours, she passed out and was found by one of her friends, who took her to the hospital. They were kind to her at the hospital, however, they had to call to police, but she managed to sneak away before they arrived. They had to run a lot of tests and gave her some pills but she cannot recall what they are all for. She needs to return in a few days for her results and would like staff to accompany her.

When we ask Brenda to go to the police and inform her that a staff member will be there to support her, she is very adamant on not going. We do not insist; it is her choice. We ask if she would like to continue now or later, she replies later. She does not come back to us until the next day because she has slept all through the night, with the staff checking on her, frequently. This is good, we assume, maybe her pain will lessen when she wakes up. When we finally see her, she is still limping and walking bent over and the bruises on her face have worsened overnight. We ask how she is doing and she says that she is in a lot of pain and asks for some of the pills that she brought from the hospital. We comply. Then she sits and tears begin to roll down her cheeks. We ask what she would like to do. “Can you get me counseling?” she asks, “I think I’m ready to talk to somebody.” We are confused, her assault occurred only two nights ago. She goes on to tell us that she was sexually assaulted from the ages of 13 to 15 by a close family member and that she has never told anybody. She can go stretches of time without it bothering her, but sometimes it comes back and makes her feel as if she is going to break. This is one of those times and she does not think that she can keep it in any longer. She thanks us for listening and leaves the office to go eat. We sit there for a few seconds to observe what she just told us and then we spring into action. We call the Barbara Schlifer Clinic and they are able to take her right away. We are lucky because it is usually a long wait to get to see a counselor. They will talk to Brenda about both her childhood sexual abuse and her recent sex assault. We call her in the office and inform her of this. She is so happy that she starts to cry. We also inform her of Maggie’s, an organization for sex workers and ask if she is interested in going, she is. We give her all the information; we also help her create a safety plan for when she is at work. She stays with us for about two months longer and she appears to be happier. Then she gets housing and she is leaving us for her a new chapter in her life. She does not get justice from the law, but she is on her way not only to healing both emotionally and physically, but also to survive. She is more than okay with that. “I am a survivor,” she begins to sing and she walks out the door with a smile on her face.

Take Back the Night 2012: September 15th

Posted on: September 21st, 2012 by Nellie's No Comments

On September 15th, 2012, the women and children at Nellie’s will go to the Maseryk-Cowan Community Centre in Parkdale to participate in the 32nd annual Take Back the Night Community Fair, Rally and March, organized by the Toronto Rape Crisis Centre/Multicultural Women Against Rape. Every year, women, children, genderqueer and transpeople take to the streets to protest violence against women and victim-blaming. The march takes place in different areas of Toronto each year in an attempt to reach out to different communities and to reiterate that violence against women can happen anywhere.

This year the theme is Un-Occupying Our Minds, Healing Ourselves. The event starts with the Community Fair and dinner. Representatives from various women’s and other social service agencies will have booths set up in the community centre to provide information pamphlets, key chains, magnets and other items. Nellie’s will have its own booth so please feel free to stop by and visit! Then, we will step outside for the rally. The rally is usually a combination of cries to action, stories, poetry, music, self-defense demonstrations and more. After this, we will take to the streets for the Take Back the Night march. We will walk, sing, chant, march, rally and cheer.

As a shelter for women and children who have experienced violence and other forms of oppression, the march feels like a new home; it is not only a place of solidarity but also a call to action. The message is heard loud and clear throughout the streets:

“Hey hey, ho ho – violence against women has got to go!”

“Hey mister, mister – keep your hands off my sister!”

“Together, united, we cannot be defeated!”

The march is empowering, engaging, fun and builds community. It is quite moving seeing so many women and survivors of violence rallying together for change. But, it is also a reminder; it reminds us why we are marching and why we continue to work to end violence against women.

We walk for our own safety, for the safety of our mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, partners and friends. We march to commemorate the murder and life of Barbra Schlifer, a feminist/activist lawyer who on the night that she was called to the bar, was murdered. We walk to commemorate her death and the death of so many women who have died through violence. We also walk to commemorate their lives. We walk to remember, to build solidarity and to build a future free from violence against women.

This year, it is especially important to take to the streets to march. Given the sexual assaults in the Annex and the murders and other acts of violence against women that appear in the news daily, it is important to get involved and take action. Given the current political climate, we need to hold abusers responsible and make it clear that “Short skirts don’t rape – rapist rape”. Join us on September 15th at 4pm for the Community Fair, 6pm for the Rally and 8pm for the march – we need to march together to take back the night and take just one more step towards making this city a safer place for all women and children.

For more info about Take Back The Night, please see the Toronto Rape Crisis Centre/Multicultural Women Against Rape’s website.

Toronto Waterfront Marathon Update

Posted on: September 21st, 2012 by Nellie's No Comments

With just over 1 month to go, our runners and walkers are getting ready to take on the Toronto Waterfront Marathon, Half-Marathon and 5K for the second year in a row. So far we have 22 wonderful people helping us to reach our $20,000 fundraising goal, and today we would like to invite you to join them. If you have been considering participating in the Toronto Waterfront Marathon, Half-Marathon or 5K, now is the time to join as the race always sells out!

We are offering a free registration to every member of our team who agrees to fundraise $250 or more. That’s a savings of up to $110! If you’re nervous about fundraising, don’t worry, our fundraising team is here to offer support and inspiration whenever you need it. All our team members will be treated to a post-race brunch buffet, and best of all, you won’t have to brave the crowds at the Direct Energy Centre to pick up your race kits – we’ll do that for you.

If running isn’t your thing, you’ll be excited to know that we have joined forces with Viva Pulse: Vivacious Women Out to Transform the World to put together a 5K walking team. Viva Pulse is an initiative of vivacious plus size women and the people that love them to support our communities and each other in transforming the lives of women in the world. Viva Pulse is currently accepting new team members to walk and raise funds for Nellie’s. As a member of the Viva Pulse 5K walking team, you will be invited to 2 walking clinics complete with health and fitness advice, stretching and walking techniques, nutritional support, and a 1-hour training walk. For more information about joining the Viva Pulse team, please contact us.

Whether you’d like to run the half marathon or walk the 5K, we would love to have you join us on October 14th as part of Team Nellie’s at the Toronto Waterfront Marathon! Together, we can make a difference in the lives of every woman and child who arrives at our doorstep, fleeing violence, poverty and homelessness. This October, cross the finish line knowing you’ve made a difference. Join Team Nellie’s today!

To join our team, call us at 416-461-0769 or e-mail info@nellies.org

Sexual Violence: What Does it Look Like?

Posted on: September 21st, 2012 by Nellie's No Comments

Sexual violence takes many forms around the world and in Canada. It includes rape by a spouse who assumes he has consent; trafficking of women and children for sexual exploitation; female genital cutting; displays of sexually degrading images in the workplace; a doctor inappropriately touching a patient and telling her that if she complains he won’t sign her immigration form; a nursing home attendant attacking a senior and saying that no-one will believe her.

Women and children of every age, class, size and social location are vulnerable to sexual violence. However, those who live with multiple layers of oppression, such as trans women, racialized women, and differently abled women, are especially vulnerable, and less likely to be believed if they report the crime to police. Statistics Canada reported in 2006 that one in three Canadian women will experience some form of sexual assault in her lifetime.

Sexual violence is not about desire or passion, it’s about control, and it’s one of the most powerful ways that men exert their control over women and children. Sexual violence is especially hard to address because women are raised to believe that it’s their fault, and that they didn’t do enough to prevent it from happening. So deep is the shame surrounding this crime that women often don’t tell their closest friends, or the police. An essay published by the Toronto Rape Crisis Centre/Multicultural Women Against Rape estimates that only 1 in 25 rapes are reported to police and 98 percent of rapists suffer no penalty.

At Nellies we see sexual violence as part of the continuum of violence caused by racism, sexism, anti- semitism, classism, ageism, ableism, heterosexism, and transphobia. (See our Position Paper.) We believe women when they disclose the sexual violence they have experienced, and we support them in their choices around reporting and recovering. We refer women to community agencies for support and we facilitate our own W.E.A.V. groups for survivors. We participate in community actions against sexual violence such as SlutWalk, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and Take Back the Night.

You can be part of the movement to end sexual violence. The Toronto Rape Crisis Centre/Multicultural Women Against Rape has published a list of “20 Things You Can Do to Transform Rape Culture.” You can join us at Take Back the Night on September 15th. Stay tuned for more information this month in our 4-part blog series about sexual violence. We will be posting about Take Back the Night, sexual violence and differently abled women, and we will share a survivor’s story.