Women’s Rights

Posts Tagged ‘women’s rights’

“This can happen to anyone, in any neighbourhood”

Posted on: March 28th, 2024 by Nellie's No Comments

Content warning: The following content contains intense descriptions of assault and violence that some readers may find distressing or triggering.

On the warm July evening that her partner tried to kill her, actress and model Cait Alexander sent a single WhatsApp message to a friend that saved her life. After drunkenly accusing her of hiding his car keys, her partner came at her with a level of grotesque violence she’d never experienced before, including pinning her down, beating and kicking her, leaving bruises and broken skin all over her body.

After what felt like an unending assault, her partner inexplicably left her and went downstairs for a moment. This is when Cait knew she had to act quickly. Although he had hidden her phone, Cait managed to get to her laptop, and sent a WhatsApp message that said: ‘plese help.’ “I didn’t even spell ‘please’ correctly because I was trying to move as quickly as my broken body would allow me,” she says. “If he caught me communicating with the outside world while he was attacking me, he would certainly kill me.”

“I am alive because of that text message,” says Cait. “There is no doubt in my mind.” That message set off a chain of friends trying to check in on her, and ultimately the police being called when she didn’t reply. One of the police officers told her that in her 20-year career, this was one of the worst domestic assaults she had ever seen.

How did Cait’s relationship get to this point? Like so many stories of intimate partner violence, their relationship seemed magical at first. The couple started dating during the pandemic, which Cait says contributed to things moving incredibly quickly — within a month, he had introduced her to his son and they were all living together. His ex was supportive of the new relationship, and all of Cait’s family and friends thought that he was “the one”.

But at around the six-month mark, things started going off the rails. First, her partner’s drinking began to get out of control, and at a gathering at their house he was violent towards her for the first time. He kicked her while she was cleaning up a large glass mason jar that he smashed in a fit of rage, and then got into a fist fight with a friend who tried to protect Cait. “That should have been a huge warning sign of just how diabolical this person could be,” says Cait. “But he apologized for his behaviour, and then everything seemed to sort of normalize.” But not for long.

A few weeks later, on a vacation together to visit some of his friends, he hit her for the first time, smashing her face into the driver’s side window while she was driving. “I’ll never forget what that felt like, the shockwaves of perplexity,” Cait explains. “I felt isolated alone with this person, five or six hours away from home. I just met all of his friends, but now he’s smashed my face into a window.” Again, upon returning home, he apologized and although weary, she tried to put the abuse behind her. The vicious cycle continued until that final nearly lethal night when she called for help.

Now two and a half years after that assault, Cait is still attending therapy for PTSD and seeing neurologists to ensure there’s no permanent brain damage. Her head shape is forever altered, and she has scars on her body that she’s forced to see every day. Cait is sharing her story now to help give strength to others who might currently be in similar situations, and to also bring greater awareness to the prevalence of domestic violence in our communities. “This can happen to anyone, in any neighbourhood,” says Cait. “People say that they think it wouldn’t happen to them or anyone they know. Well, it happened to a woman with two degrees who comes from a rock-solid family that’s still together. It’s happening everywhere and to everyone.” Cait’s advice to other women bringing legal action against their abuser is to document everything. “Every single thing,” she stresses, adding that it’s her photos, videos and journals which helped her build a case against her abuser.

While Cait was fortunate enough to have family to support her as she rebuilt her life, not everyone is. At Nellie’s, we provide shelter and support to all women and their children who are impacted by violence, intimate partner abuse, trauma, and homelessness. We are so much more than just a bed — we’re also a place they can turn to for services and support. We stand alongside them as they navigate the legal system, immigration services, social services, child protection services, health care, and more.

“If the pandemic has highlighted anything, it’s that violence against women is endemic in our society,” says Jyoti Singh, Nellie’s executive director. “The need for organizations like Nellie’s is as significant today as it was when we first opened our doors 50 years ago, and we will always be here to support women in crisis.”

Cait is currently raising awareness about gender-based violence and advocating for changes to the justice system as a result of her case. To learn more, please watch her interview with CityNews Toronto. Thank you, Cait, for sharing your story with us.

How Nellie’s is helping end gender-based violence worldwide

Posted on: February 8th, 2024 by Nellie's No Comments

Last week, Nellie’s was invited to join the Ontario Association of Interval and Transition Houses’ (OAITH) meeting with Jarmila Lajacakova, Advisor for Human and Minority Rights, and Lucia Duranova, Domestic Affairs Officer, both from the Office of the President of the Slovak Republic, to share knowledge on our work to end gender-based violence. Here’s what executive director Jyoti Singh has to say about this incredible opportunity:

It was an extreme honour to meet with Jarmila and Lucia, the delegation from the Slovak Republic. As vice president of the OAITH board of directors, I relished the opportunity to learn about the work being done by the Slovak Republic government, as well as our sister agencies across Canada, to end gender-based violence in our communities. Representatives from The Redwood, Centre for Research & Education on Violence Against Women & Children, WomenatthecentrE, White Ribbon and LEAF (Women’s Legal Education & Action Fund), all shared knowledge and experiences in our work to fight gender-based violence. The meeting was an amazing opportunity for collaboration, and we hope that it helped to lay the foundation for international cooperation to end gender-based violence across the globe.

The session also allowed me the opportunity to speak about the excellent work we do at Nellie’s. We were able to share our philosophy that although we operate a crisis shelter, it’s our work to disrupt the cycle of violence that truly fuels us forward. Due to the way that we receive funding from the government, our business is crisis — but should it be? Crisis still has a role, unfortunately, but we need to focus on shifting our efforts towards prevention.

The saddest realization to come out of our meeting was that while the characters may change, the essential stories of GBV are similar around the world regardless of age, ethnicity, religion, political stripe, or culture. Women are being killed all around the world.

Here in Ontario, OAITH does the hard work of tracking the number of femicides each month in our province. The association is relentless in its efforts to ensure the women whose lives are stolen by GBV are represented, and they aren’t just a quick blip on the news headlines only to soon be forgotten.

The delegation from the Slovak Republic met with us to learn more about this important work and the methodology used. While I’m proud to support OAITH in its work, it disheartened me that counting femicides is a task that needs to continue to grow. The fact that we need to increase our expertise in counting murdered women is extremely distressing.

Near the end of our meeting, in my role as vice-president of the board for OAITH, I had the immense pleasure of presenting the delegation with a set of Wrapped in Courage scarves as a sign of solidarity in our continued work to address GBV across borders. We were promised that a scarf would be delivered to Zuzana Čaputová, the president of the Slovak Republic, and we look forward to seeing her “wrapped in courage”.

A message from Executive Director Jyoti Singh

Posted on: December 21st, 2023 by Nellie's No Comments

If you’re feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders lately, you’re not alone. Here at Nellie’s, we’re all feeling the financial pressures of rising grocery prices and housing costs, while also managing our emotions around ongoing wars and climate change concerns. It’s not easy being a human in this world right now, and yet every day, I still manage to feel encouraged, thanks to the incredible generosity of our community.

Despite everything, our donors still continue to support the women and children at Nellie’s. We know that making the choice to donate your hard-earned dollars to charity is not an easy thing to do at this time, and yet here you are, choosing Nellie’s. I think it speaks to the importance of the work that we’re doing, and also to the phenomenal generosity of the people who support us. It leaves me kind of speechless to see our community continuing to show up for our women and children. We’re so incredibly thankful to all of you.

Because again, due to rising costs and inflation, it’s become harder and harder for us to operate our shelter at our standards. To purchase enough food for the women and their children living in our shelter, along with the 120 families in our community who rely on our food bank every week. To buy enough supplies to support the 81 women and their 61 children who stayed with us in 2022/2023.

Fortunately, some good financial news came along recently though: in November, the federal government announced that they will be investing $162 million over four years to support the implementation of the National Action Plan to End Gender-based Violence in Ontario. The plan is focused on three priority areas: increasing prevention efforts; reaching underserved and at-risk populations; and stabilizing the GBV sector. As we move into the new year, we’re looking forward to how this funding will help us stabilize our finances here at Nellie’s.

As we move into 2024, we will continue to honour 50 years since Nellie’s first opened its doors. This fall, we held our annual general meeting in person for the first time since COVID — being able to celebrate and mark our achievements with our staff, board members, and volunteers all in one place was very special for us. We are currently working on planning a few more small, tasteful events to mark our 50th anniversary and celebrate the dedication of our staff and supporters over the last half of a century. In the new year, we’ll also be updating our logo, mission, and vision statements, and we can’t wait to show you our rebranded look later in 2024, which will better reflect our current vision for our organization.

Over the past five decades, Nellie’s has primarily been known for the shelter and support we provide to women and their children fleeing violence, trauma, and homelessness — and while our crisis services will always be a core priority for our organization, we’re excited to also be shifting our focus to delivering empowerment and prevention programs that disrupt the cycle of violence.

Because across the GBV sector, one troubling fact we’re hearing about is that the next generation of our clients are now starting to come through our doors — the children who first came to our shelter with their moms, are now coming through as adults. This solidifies to us the need to be doing more as a system to break the cycle and to focus more on prevention. We hope that the story 50 years from now is very different. While we may not be able to completely eradicate gender-based violence in the next 50 years, we can definitely lessen the impact by breaking the cycle for future generations.

Thank you for your continued, generous support — it’s because of you that everything we do is possible.

Introducing our new substance use and addiction program

Posted on: October 26th, 2023 by Nellie's No Comments

As we work toward a future free of gender-based violence, here at Nellie’s we’ve been working to build new ways for us to better support our community of women and their children fleeing violence, trauma, and homelessness. And thanks to a financial contribution from Health Canada, we’re currently developing a brand-new substance use program to provide even more women with the help they need.

There’s a major intersectionality between substance use and violence against women — an average of 63% of women seeking assistance with violence issues are also struggling with substance abuse. Many women in addiction recovery also report experiencing some form of abuse in their lifetime. But until now, there’s been a lack of holistic support for women in need of both of these services.

Enter our new substance use program, which aims to increase the knowledge of and build additional capacity for harm reduction services within violence against women shelters. Toni-Ann Allen, Nellie’s Substance Use and Addictions supervisor, has been tasked with creating this expansive program, which she recently launched with a presentation to the Violence Against Women Network (VAWN) about how the program will be integrated across all women’s shelters within VAWN.

Although the program is being developed at Nellie’s, the goal is to create a standardized practice within all VAWN women’s shelters to address and support individuals who are experiencing both gender-based violence and substance abuse. Toni-Ann is working on building this program from scratch, and she’s currently in the research stage and working on building out the assessment framework. “The assessments will help us evaluate and see where each organization is currently at with substance use, addictions, and harm reduction within their shelter,” explains Toni-Ann. “Once all the assessments are finished, I’ll take all the information and then give each shelter feedback.” Working alongside Toni-Ann are peer volunteers who have lived experience with gender-based violence or substance use — they’ll be providing feedback on all steps of the process, as well as joining Toni-Ann on the in-shelter assessments starting in January.

After Toni-Ann and her team finish completing the assessments and providing feedback, the next step will be to provide essential training to frontline shelter workers to help them better support their shelter residents. “Because of this intersectionality [of women experiencing substance use and gender-based violence], we’re finding that individuals aren’t accessing services as they should, and it’s creating barriers for women,” says Toni-Ann. “We want to bridge that gap and prepare the workers and VAW shelters to deal with this complex issue.”

Another element of the program that Toni-Ann is looking forward to exploring is how nutrition can be used as a form of harm reduction. “I don’t believe there’s enough conversation around nutrition and how it helps individuals who use substances, wherever they may be in their journey,” explains Toni-Ann. “From a community standpoint and a harm reduction standpoint, I haven’t seen that — so that’s really exciting.”

We’re proud to be starting this innovative and transformative program, and we’re eager to soon be supporting the women at Nellie’s even more effectively. Our goal is that the impact of this program goes far beyond the direct support we provide to our clients — it’s also about challenging the stigma surrounding substance use and harm reduction. “I think it will change a lot within the community, and I think it will change perceptions on harm reduction and substance abuse,” says Toni-Ann.

Sexual and Reproductive Health Awareness Week

Posted on: February 12th, 2013 by Nellie's No Comments

The two little girls in my life are more precious than anything else I have accomplished so far. My daughters are precious to me and to my family, however, I was privileged enough to have a supportive and stable partner, to have the financial means of raising a child and to have a strong support system surrounding me. More importantly, the choice of having a child was MY choice, not anyone else’s. Every woman should have the right to choose what is best for her body, for her well-being and for her life.

Being pro-choice is about caring for other women enough that we provide them with options and resources so they don’t have to be put into precarious situations. There are a few reasons why being pro-choice is safer. First, laws against abortion do not stop abortion; they simply make it less safe. Death due to complications of abortion account for about 13% of all deaths during pregnancy and childbirth, and almost all of those happen in countries where the procedure is illegal. Making abortion illegal doesn’t save any babies, it just kills women (source.)

Second, reproductive choice can be the only thing that stands between a woman and poverty. There is a reason that the 1 billion poorest people on the planet are female. In sub-Saharan Africa and west Asia, women typically have five to six children, which leaves them powerless to provide for not only their own families, but themselves (source.)

Third, without publicly funded contraceptive services, there would be 40% more abortions each year in the US. The rate among teens would increase by 58%. The teen birth rate and births to unmarried women would both increase by about 25%. Also, low-income and minority women who do not want to become pregnant are twice as likely as other women to be non-users of contraceptives (source.) *Note: American statistics were used because no comparable Canadian stats could be found.

At Nellie’s, we recognize that the control of women’s sexuality is another facet of the oppression they face. Sexual and Reproductive Health Awareness Week is an opportunity to educate and empower women to take charge of their own sexuality and their own lives. Please join us in empowering our sisters, our mothers, our daughters and all of the other women in our lives.

*written by Nellie’s Social Justice Committee member.

16 Days: From Peace in the Home to Peace in the World

Posted on: November 27th, 2012 by Nellie's No Comments

“From Peace in the Home to Peace in the World: Let’s Challenge Militarism and End Violence Against Women!”

This is the theme for the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence. Organizers say that militarism creates a culture of fear and promotes violent forms of masculinity which endanger women. According to the United Nations around 90% of war casualties are civilians, mostly women and children. A century ago 90% of those who lost their lives were military personnel.

This year the 16 Days Campaign’s focus on militarism centers on three priority areas:

1. Violence by State Actors such as army and police, who believe they can commit crimes with impunity and use the need for “security” as an excuse for violence and intimidation. A recent report by the ROJ Women Association revealed that Kurdish women activists in Turkey regularly endure horrific acts of violence by Turkish security forces including torture, sexual abuse, sexual harassment and psychological abuse. Unfortunately, only 10% of the women who endure such violence come forward to share their stories, and even then, they are regularly dismissed by the State. As is the case in so many other instances of violence against women, if there is no proper punishment for perpetrators, the violence will continue indefinitely.

2. The Role of Small Arms such as guns and machetes. According to the The International Action Network on Small Arms (IANSA) women’s network there are nearly 900 million small arms in the world today, and more than 75% are in the hands of private individuals—mostly men. Having a small weapon in the home increases the overall risk of someone being murdered by 41% and for women the risk is nearly tripled. Here’s a short video from Switzerland advocating for the removal of firearms from the home:

[youtube=http://youtu.be/E8atY9wsWKk]

3. Sexual Violence during and after conflict. After a conflict ends, sexual violence continues as a tactic to reinforce hierarchies and humiliate women and their communities. Many women’s organizations have questioned the use of terms like “post-conflict” when brutal violence still takes place on a daily basis. In the Democratic Republic of Congo, the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom, estimates that 420,000 women per year are subject to sexual violence. Eve Ensler’s V-Day is one organization dedicated to ending violence in countries in conflict like the DRC. If you want to take action now to end rape and gender violence in conflict zones, you can sign this petition from the International Campaign to Stop Rape and Violence in Conflict.

At Nellie’s we support many women who are dealing with trauma from militarism in Canada and around the world. Some of our staff have, themselves, experienced and witnessed this trauma and tomorrow we will share one of their stories.

Nellie McClung and the Famous Five

Posted on: March 5th, 2012 by Nellie's No Comments

People often ask us the history of our name “Nellie’s Women’s Shelter.” In 1973, when Nellie’s was founded by a group of women activists, including June Callwood, they chose to name our organization after Nellie McClung, feminist, politician, social activist and one of the “Famous Five” who fought for women to be recognized as persons under the law, eligible to hold seats in Canadian Parliament.

(Nellie McClung)

On August 27^th, 1927, Nellie McClung along with Emily Murphy, Irene Parlby, Louise McKinney and Henrietta Muir Edwards, filed a petition to Canada’s Supreme Court asking the question “Does the word “persons” in the British North America Act include female persons?” Less than a year later, the Supreme Court came back with the answer: “No.” Obviously dissatisfied, the women took this case to a higher level of authority, the Privy Council in England, which was then Canada’s highest court. On October 18^th 1929 they finally got an answer:

“The exclusion of women from all public offices is a relic of days more barbarous than ours. And to those who would ask why the word “person” should include females, the obvious answer is, why should it not?”

Following this decision, Nellie McClung, Irene Parlby and Louise McKinney went on to be elected into the Alberta Legislature, Henrietta Muir Edwards helped establish the National Council of Women, and Emily Murphy continued her work as the British Empire’s first female judge. It is our honour that two of Nellie’s McClung’s granddaughters, Emily and Caitlin McClung volunteer at Nellie’s. You can meet the McClung sisters at LEAF’s Annual Persons Day Breakfast.

We are proud that our organization is richly grounded in the advancement of women’s rights in Canada. Just as the Famous Five identified women’s denial of legal “personhood” as a barrier to the full participation and inclusion of women in society, Nellie’s work today continues to identify barriers that make it difficult for women to leave abusive situations such as lack of affordable housing and childcare and an immigration system that keeps women vulnerable and in danger. In the spirit and memory of Nellie McClung and the Famous Five, we remain committed to the work of ending violence so that all women may live free from fear, able to contribute as full and participating members of society.

International Women’s Day Blog Series Begins

Posted on: March 1st, 2012 by Nellie's No Comments

Today marks the one-week countdown to International Women’s Day!

International Women’s Day is important at Nellie’s because it offers us an opportunity to pause, reflect, and celebrate the great strides and achievements made by women, while renewing our efforts to continue to work for women’s equality, justice and peace.

The idea of having a Women’s Day began in the early 1900’s as a response to the rapid changes and deteriorating conditions that were occuring in women’s lives as a result of industrialization. The United States first recognized International Women’s Day in 1909, with Europe following a few years later. The United Nations officially marked the day in 1975, with Canada following shortly afterwards to recognize March 8th as International Women’s Day.

Here are some reasons why International Women’s Day remains important today:

1) Around the world a woman dies in childbirth or complications from childbirth every 90 seconds.
2) Of the world’s 1.3 billion poor people, it is estimated that nearly 70% are women.
3) Of the world’s nearly one billion illiterate adults, two-thirds are women
4) In most countries (including Canada) women work approximately twice the unpaid time (ie: childcare and housework) that men do.
5) An estimated 20 million unsafe abortions are performed worldwide every year, resulting in the deaths of 70,000 women.
6) Each year an estimated two million girls suffer the practice of female genital mutilation.
7) Worldwide, 20-50% of women experience violence during marriage.
(Source: Women at a Glace, United Nations Report.)

Whether it’s speaking out about violence against women, demanding better access to pre and post-natal healthcare, encouraging more women to enter the political sphere and leadership roles, or educating young girls and boys about sexism, heterosexism, racism and other discriminatory behaviour, International Women’s Day presents an opportunity to start and continue the conversation about gender roles and gender equality.

Over the next 7 days we look forward to celebrating the achievements of women and joining with other women’s organizations in a committment to a future where everyone has a chance to thrive and prosper in peace and equality. Stay tuned tomorrow for information on International Women’s Day celebrations in the GTA.

International Women Human Rights Defenders Day

Posted on: November 29th, 2011 by Nellie's No Comments

Today, November 29th is International Woman Human Rights Defenders Day. It is a day to draw attention to the very important work that women around the world are doing to ensure that women’s rights are human rights.

Ensuring the rights, health and well-being of women is to ensure the future of humanity. For decades, international policies protecting the rights of women have been promised, but a global scan of the lives of women around the world today show a vast majority trapped in lives filled with suffering and pain. A global context of racism, classism and sexism work together to create 3 primary barriers that prevent women and their children from living healthy and happy lives: 1) War -perpetuated by a military-industrial complex 2) Poverty -perpetuated by corporate greed and globalization and 3) Violence against women -perpetuated by patriarchal legal systems and decision-makers who protect the status quo.

Rape and sexual violence have long been associated with war and armed-conflict. In the Democratic Republic of Congo alone, an estimated 1,100 rapes are reported each month – that’s an average of 36 women and girls raped each day! It is estimated that during the conflict in Bosnia in the early 1990’s, up to 200,000 women were raped.

Abject poverty can be blamed for the booming business of human trafficking of women and children for slavery or sex work at an estimated USD $32 billion a year, rivaling the economies of some small countries. Dowry murders, honour killings, the prevalence of HIV-AIDS, breast pressing, female genital mutilation, traumatic gynecologic fistula caused by early sexual abuse of girls, female infanticide and a lack of health care (especially reproductive health care) for women result in the staggering truth that in our world today, among women aged 15 to 44, acts of violence cause more death and disability than cancer, malaria, traffic accidents and war combined.

Today, on International Woman Human Rights Defenders Day, we recognize the courage of women and the organisations that work tirelessly to address these issues with the goal of achieving human rights and equality for all women. Women such as Tawakkol Karman, journalist and President of the NGO Women Journalists without Chains who has long campaigned against human rights violations in Yemen. This October, three days after Karman received notification of being awarded the Nobel Peace prize for her efforts to advance the rights of women in Yemen, she and fellow women activists rallying against the government, were forced to endure the pelting of stones thrown by pro-government thugs. For more information on Women Human Rights Defenders, please visit the Woman Human Rights Defenders International Coalition.

How can you make a difference and be a human rights defender?

1) Recognize inequality and encourage change

2) End the abuse of power by those who inflict suffering on those most vulnerable in our communities and around the world by demanding human rights for all women and children.

3) Support women and children to empower themselves and to take control over their own bodies, wages and lives

4) Advocate for ending violence, poverty, homelessness and the oppression of women and children

5) Volunteer your talents or make a donation to an organisation that is working to improve the quality of life for women and children

“…the full and complete development of a country, the welfare of the world and the cause of peace require the maximum participation of women on equal terms with men in all fields.” ~1979 Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) ratified by 180 nation/states around the world