Abuse | Nellies

Posts Tagged ‘abuse’

Celebrating National AccessAbility Week

Posted on: May 16th, 2024 by Nellie's No Comments

Every year, starting on the last Sunday in May, Canadians celebrate National AccessAbility Week (NAAW) — an opportunity to recognize Canadians with disabilities, while also raising awareness of the need for greater accessibility and inclusion in our communities. This year, Nellie’s is marking the occasion with a powerful art exhibit featuring the inspiring works of our Women on the Move clients.

Designed to address the gap in services for women with physical disabilities who have experienced abuse, our Women on the Move program relaunched in November 2023 with a new cohort of 25 women enrolled in the program, with a consistent 10 participants. The twice-monthly program provides an opportunity for women to come together and chat in a safe space with their peers. Co-led and developed by Lucy DaCosta, a long-time facilitator in the disability advocacy space, the program features educational workshops, special activities like healing art projects, and social outings to attractions such as the Art Gallery of Ontario.

While we’re only about six months into our revived program, the response has been overwhelming — we already have another 25 women anxiously waiting to join in. Our goal is to provide care to as many women who need this counselling, and then become a leading advocate in the disability sector by training staff in other shelters throughout the GTA as well. Women with disabilities are up to 10 times more likely to be victimized than able-bodied women, and the gap in services for these women is immense. We’re proud to be helping lead the change.

Throughout their sessions, Lucy encourages participants to acknowledge their strengths and celebrate their successes which don’t get recognized or validated living in an ableist society. One of the ways she accomplishes this is through expressive art projects, such as those being displayed at the Women on the Move Art Exhibition. “[Art projects] are very validating, and connect with you at a much deeper level than simple words ever could,” explains Lucy.

For this exhibit, the goal of the participants was to express their feelings, lived experience, and hope for change through art — while also bringing this conversation to a public space where people can learn about the experiences of those with disabilities.

Please join us at Metro Hall (55 John St. in Toronto) on May 28, 2024 from 1-6pm to view these inspiring projects — there will also be a special presentation and reception at 5pm. Attendant services will be provided. To RSVP, please email Lucy.

A Mother’s Story: Lorrie

Posted on: May 8th, 2012 by Nellie's No Comments

The tipping point was the day she couldn’t afford a bus ticket because he controlled all the bank accounts. For several months Lorrie had desperately contemplated ways to move her family away from her abusive husband. And things were getting continually worse. The constant yelling; the fits of rage; the hidden bruises.

Most of the time it was directed at her, and she tried to justify the outbursts. Often she wondered if he was right when he said those terrible things…”Maybe I don’t work hard enough. Maybe I shouldn’t be talking to my next-door neighbour. Maybe I am too stupid to get a job,” she thought.

But when the abuse was directed towards their 6 year-old son Josh and their 4-year old daughter Julie, Lorrie knew it wasn’t right. Often when she looked in the mirror at night she felt defeated…and when she saw that same look in her children’s eyes, she knew it was time to make a change. But without a dollar to her name, and no access to a bank account or credit card, she felt like she was imprisoned in her own home. That’s when she came to Nellie’s.

When Lorrie, Josh and Julie came to us last year they had no where else to turn. Lorrie arrived on our doorstep with a gym bag on her shoulder and a child in each hand. But the look on her face was one of determination and resolve – she knew she was taking the first steps towards a better life for herself and her children.

Working with Nellie’s counsellors, Lorrie was able to slowly open up about the abuse she’d experienced and start the healing process for herself and her family. Although the change was difficult for Josh and Julie, with the support of Nellie’s Children’s Advocate they were able to continue attending school and looked forward to coming home to the shelter where there were always fun activities waiting for them.

While Lorrie thought that coming to a shelter meant that she was failing her family, the support and encouragement she received meant Lorrie could continue to be a strong leader and a caring mother to her children. Today, Lorrie, Josh and Julie are doing well. Thanks to the support she received at Nellie’s, Lorrie found gainful employment and a safe place to raise her family. This year will be the best Mother’s Day she’s ever had.

A donation in honour of your own mother or someone special could be the perfect Mother’s Day gift. Please donate now to help women like Lorrie and all the moms staying at Nellie’s shelter have a Happy Mother’s Day.

Women Experiencing Abuse & Violence Support Group: Resistance through Storytelling

Posted on: March 23rd, 2012 by Nellie's No Comments

Nellies’ W.E.A.V group has made a successful start, kicking off the first week of February. Last week we were joined by Sonny B of R3 Collective who facilitated a two week workshop series exploring storytelling and identity using creative writing, spoken word and music as the medium.

Women who stay silent about abuse do so for many reasons; shame, fear of reprisal from systems such as Immigration and Children’s Aid, as well as threats and coercion from abusers. Children who are abused are often told not to tell anyone, that the abuse is a ‘secret’ and that they will not be believed. These messages continue to inundate adult survivors of violence and abuse, and silence is a valuable tool used by abusers and oppressors to have power over their victims.

Speaking out about violence and abuse is itself a form of resistance, not to mention an integral part of the healing process. Oppressed groups have be silenced throughout history, and Nellie’s remains committed to providing spaces for women’s voices to be heard, and bringing those voices to the centre as part of our commitment to Advocacy and Social Justice. Check out this great TED Talk by Chimimanda Adiche, “The Danger of a Single Story.” In this video Chimimanda talks about the implications and importance of who tells our stories and how they are told:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Ihs241zeg]

While the focus of W.E.A.V is on sexual assault, intimate partner and familial abuse, we discuss and acknowledge less recognized forms of abuse such as racism, homophobia and transphobia, ableism and poverty, not just as issues that compound violence but as forms of systemic violence in and of themselves.

With the guidance of Sonny, a skilled story teller, musician and facilitator, women used the arts to give voice to issues that directly affect their lives. Women worked on individual pieces as well as collaborated to create a spoken word piece titled: ‘Poverty’.

For more information about the R3 Collective click here or contact Sonny directly at sonnybeanmusic@gmail.com