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Katherine’s Story

My name is Katherine. I am a 56 year old woman who stayed at Nellies shelter for 5 months. I came from rural Ontario, but decided to return to Toronto after I suffered a stroke a few years ago. The stroke left the right side of my body almost fully paralyzed; my leg dragged and I was not able to use my hand at all.

My ex-boyfriend used to abuse me and call me really mean names. He told me if I left him, no one would want to be with me because I had a disAbility. He said I was ugly and stupid and physically hurt me too. One time, I remember him pushing me down to the ground and laughing when I couldn’t get up. I begged for him to help me and watched as he just stood there laughing. I stayed with him for a couple of years because I didn’t know where else to go. I lived in a small community where everyone knew each other so I didn’t feel safe to tell anyone what was going on in my home.  Back then, I didn’t know places like Nellie’s shelter even existed.  I was afraid that I couldn’t make it on my own.  Everything just seemed like it was too much. I eventually did get the courage to leave him. I decided to return to Toronto as I had lived there many years ago and started to find help.

I found Nellie’s and they said they could accommodate me and indeed placed me in an accessible room with an accessible bed. However, the shelter was only partially accessible. There was an accessible bathroom and a ramp, but I couldn’t use the laundry room because it was located in the basement. But I really felt that I belonged to a community and was supported because all the women living in the shelter would help me with my laundry!

The shelter staff began to talk with me to identify what I needed to assist me towards independent living. The staff connected me to the Community Care Access Centre for help with my personal care; and the right doctors so that I could continue to look after my health. I had many problems with my ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program) but they helped me sort it out through many phone calls. I was also referred to the community legal clinic to help with some legal issues I had with my family. I was also introduced to community programs, which included a support group for women with physical disAbilities. This group experience helped me to meet with other women in similar situations and to share our experiences of violence. I learned how to cope better and was able to develop a safety plan. I also felt safe to talk about many different types of violence and so began to heal from the years of trauma and pain that I had experienced.

During my stay at Nellie’s, the staff helped me get a place of my own. Because of my disability, I needed supportive housing where I could get some assistance with my day to day care. I always tried to be as independent as I could, but I am also realistic that I do need some support. The staff worked with me to identify my special housing needs and researched many housing providers and opportunities in Toronto. As well they accompanied me many times to visit places that seemed to have potential. With lots of work, the staff was able to find a supportive housing option for me and I was able to finally find a safe place to call my own.

The day I left Nellie’s to move into my own home was a happy one! After settling in my own place, after a few months, I called Nellie’s to let them know that Nellies taught me to believe in myself again and gave me hope that I could live on my own and not rely on people who took advantage of me.  I learned that I was  not alone in my experiences of abuse and that abuse is not okay.